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What About My Family?

For More Information contact: OPVA Hospital Liaison

SCI is not selective in whose life it touches. Many people are married and have children before their injury. How does the SCI effect their lives as a family member? Will your role change? How will your spouse react? What will happen with your children? If you are the injured person, these questions and many others will come up. You may feel very worried about this new way of life. You may feel guilty about it. You may even feel anger. These feelings are natural with such a dramatic change in your life. Managing the feelings is a key element in dealing with SCI as a family.

Your family members will need help in adjusting to the SC because their roles have changed as much as yours. Many times, spouses take on the additional role of caregiver. This can be a difficult change and spouses should speak with counselors to find effective ways of juggling their responsibilities. Fatigue and depression may arise within a family dealing with SCI. Trying to resolve the problems beforehand is a great means of preventing emotional discord later.

Here are a few things to try.

Work as a team. SCI doesn't mean that you can't do some things around the house. Discuss ways to divide household jobs. Maybe you can pay the bills or cook dinner. Perhaps you'd rather do the shopping. Determine what tasks you can do, what jobs are easiest for you to perform. Discuss sharing parental responsibilities like discipline and child care.
Talk to each other. Even families that are not dealing with SCI could benefit from this practice. It is much more important to communicate your problems and to find a way to make things work. Talk openly with your spouse about your needs and their needs too. Discuss expectations with your children. Find out what they think is important.
Find some assistance. Caregivers can be an investment that returns great dividends. Trying to cope on your own can place undue strain on the family. Find out what can be done comfortably by your spouse and decide what things should be done with a caregiver such as bowel care, bathing or doctor's office visits. Spouses often find that having a few days of help each month gives them a nice break from the routine. This is particularly important in high-stress situations such as when you or your spouse have become ill. Be sure to make some arrangements for this type of outside help before it is an emergency.
Maintain your good health. Folks with an SCI get bombarded with well-meaning health advice. It is the spouses and families that are often overlooked in the situation. Stress can take its toll on them as well so it is vital that they take care of themselves. Proper nutrition, plenty of exercise and adequate rest and relaxation are necessary for maintain good health and attitude. Make sure that family members are taking time to care for their own health.
Take charge of your life. You still run your own life. Make schedules, direct your health care by becoming better informed, join support groups or start your own if none are available in your area. Do things that make you feel in control, in charge, independent. Tackling the daily tasks makes it easier to plan for the long range ones.